A young man lost his mother when he was 10 years old. He could not understand why it happened. He was angry with his mother for leaving him. He was angry with God for taking her away. He could not express it. He was expected not to cry because it would be unmanly. His father remarried. He was angry with him for it. He was angry with his step mother who had taken the place of his mother. He could not express the anger. He was supposed to be a good boy.
He was intelligent. In school, he watched his peers being beaten up by teachers. He felt angry but could do nothing about it. He was himself at the receiving end of some bullying by other students. He did not talk about it to anyone. He thought that once the school was over, it would be easy to forget the bullying. He became a young man. He realised that he had difficulties in relating to women. He was devastated when his relationships with his girlfriends broke down. He used to have rows with them. He did not know why it happened.
He got into a job and found he could not get along with female bosses. He was afraid of male authority figures. He did not know why. He got married to a woman he loved. He continued in his job and with years passing, he realised he needs to be doing something different. He also started to drink a little too much. After three children, his relationship with his wife started to change. He realised he was simply coping with life. He took premature retirement. He separated from his wife. He became depressed.
At that stage, he decided to address his anger and other problems associated with it. As he addressed issues from his past, his life started to change. He never realised before he dealt with his anger how much he was holding on to. It had all to do with his past. His present was being affected by his unresolved anger with his early relationships. As layers of anger were peeled off , his alcohol consumption reduced. He became more and more accepting of himself and his past, the world around him and his relationships. His life changed.
Pradeep K Chadha is a psychiatrist who specialises in helping patients with meditation and imagery using little or no medication. He is the author of The Stress Barrier-Nature’s Way To Overcoming Stress published by Blackhall Publishing, Dublin. He is based in Dublin, Ireland.His website address is :http://www.drpkchadha.com