The webmasters of the world have become absolutely obsessed with obtaining high quality one way links to their websites in order to increase their Google Page Rankings in order to increase their visibility when people search the internet for coffee makers or “coffee makers” or coffee + makers. People are spending so much time begging for back links and reading SEO books like “The Google Secret to the new Google Algorithm” that the average rate of coffee consumption has increased from 3 to 9 cups of coffee per day among webmasters. And this is one perfectly legal way of increasing your website’s visibility. Just write out some baloney like the above nonsense inserting the words “coffee” and “maker” into the text of your homepage and inner pages.
The obsession with obtaining high page rankings has now become a complete mania which has replaced the male obsession with size. This has been fuelled by money and by the Google graphic for PR. The difference between a 3 and a 4 PR looks like the difference between a small one and an average one. Once you get into the 9 area you are now into Wilt the Stilt country. The man scored 100 points in a single game according to ESPN, which has quite a nice sized PR itself. Because of this back link mania, the American Medical Association has now added a new category to the new edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatry DSM IX.
The doctors have categorized every single human emotion into a full blown major mental illness for which they can dole out medication, line their pockets, and make insane bids for keywords like “coffee” and “maker” for their spouse’s home based internet business. The doctors have labeled the happiness and the sadness felt at the poker table computer screen as manic depression. They call having a drink alcoholism. Being afraid that Osama Bin Laden is going to reduce your page ranking overnight from 7 to 0 is called paranoid schizophrenia. The United States of America is preparing to send war planes armed with nuclear weapons to Iran to protect the Page Ranking of the Department of Defense Website. Said Donald Rumsfeld in an interview on “Meet the Press” last Sunday, “No Muslim is going to mess with my page ranking, you can be sure of that Tim.”
Yesterday Osama Bin Laden accused the United States of waging a Crusade against Islam. What could possibly have given him that idea? Four years ago shortly after 911 the President of the United States publicly announced that in retaliation for 911 he was launching a Crusade. Every Muslim man, woman and child knows that the Crusades were a thousand years ago when the Pope marched his Christian Army across Europe massacring every Jew in their way to reclaim the Holy Land until they stood knee deep in Muslim blood in Jerusalem.
Why did the 19 Saudi Arabian Muslim men attack the twin towers on 911? In the Koran Allah aka God of Mount Sinai, aka The Good Doctor who gave the 2 tablets to Moses aka Jesus Christ aka Elohim says, “Make War on the Christians and the Jews. In return I will bring you up to Eternal Paradise with crystal clear springs and 72 virgins and endless French wine with no side effects and extremely high Google Page Rankings with absolutely no need for back links. Everyone will be number 1.” (Koran Sura Chapter 9:29-30, Sura 56, The Event, Mecca in the Sky.)
The 19 Saudi Arabian men who on 911 devastated the most sophisticated armed forces in history including dismembering the Pentagon fully believed to the core of their souls that the moment they hit the twin towers they would wake up in Sky Mecca with their websites number 1 on every search engine in the Universe, which would send their egos soaring along with their bank accounts. This is why they say that truth is stranger than fiction. No author would dare write such baloney because no one would believe it. If you want high web visibility without the need for back links then follow President Bush’s lead. Conquer the middle east oil fields and then pay for it with the proceeds. It’s easier than drinking 9 cups of coffee a day which you made yourself with your new coffee maker.
Karen Fish is a writer currently living in Los Angeles California. The Temple of Love http://www.thetempleoflove.com/ The World Peace Site