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It’s 1:11 a.m… Do You Know Where Your Fishing Boat Is?


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It’s 1:11 a.m… Do You Know Where Your Fishing Boat Is?

It’s 1:11 a.m.

I am not sure I have ever been awake at 1:11 a.m.!

Now before you scoff and think, “what is this guy, some kind of Benjamin Franklin, early to bed,early to rise,blah,blah blah, guy…..”

Let me clarify that I have been awake beyond 1:11 a.m. on numerous occasions.

Why just the other day, I was wandering around the house stepping on dog squeak toys,banging into walls searching for Tums in the dark,trying not to awaken any other inhabitants of the Klott household.

Of course by the time I had emptied all medicine cabinets, all kitchen cabinets, and turned on every light switch in the house in my futile quest for “the #4 combination plate revenge” relief, I had plenty of company and the usual “here it is right in front of your face”, in the first place I had started my 2:00 a.m. prowl.

But I digress.

My point here, if there is to be a point, is that I am not sure I have ever seen the “digital clock” at 1:11 a.m.

It’s just weird looking.

It wasn’t alarming, like every time my calculator spits out a 666 and I think I am possessed,or earlier this year when I glanced at the clock when it was 1:23 on the fifth day of the fourth month of the sixth year…..that’s 1:23 on 4/5/6 for all you Rain Man fans out there…..

No, it was just weird.

Now to the fishing part.

This post midnight toss and turn session was brought on by my constant worry about my newly painted and “spruced up” driftboat. Yes, if you follow these articles, and if you do –YOU need help– you will remember that I have been nursing what was diagnosed as a torn rotator cuff.

Since my winter steelhead fishing season was in the tank , due to my bad wing, I decided it was the perfect time to repaint my boat. Well, actually my good buddy Gregorio did most of the work, but I made a great supervisor and held a sander every now and then.

It is now finished.

(The boat-not the rotator cuff.)

Aside from the fact, that what I thought would be a simple little weekend project, (do a little sanding throw a little paint on the outside) turning into a three month reconstruction of both my boat and bank account, I think I am having anxiety about using it.

It’s too…. well….it’s too nice!

(The boat-not the bank account.)

Before the sanding, grinding, replacing of floor boards,new gluv-it,new rubber,new winch rope, new inside surface painting, multi- toned metallic outside finish,and repainting and wiring of my trailer….

It was just a boat.

Now, it’s some kind of showpiece. I’M AFRAID TO USE IT!!

I was planning on taking it fishing tomorrow, but I am afraid to put any scratches or dents on it.

The thought of fish slime and shrimp oil on my freshly painted Zolatone interior has me tossing, turning, and freaking out over some late night 111 digital breadstick message.

The worst thing is that I may not be done with my nautical spending spree yet.

Now, the oars look old,the old Evinrude boat motor is hideous, the tires and wheels seem ancient, and my TRUCK? Well, I am ashamed to pull it with that old 2002 clunker!!

Heck, even my house looks in dis repair next to that boat.

I have no room in the garage for it, so I will probably have to build a garage for it, or pay for covered storage somewhere.

I may lose another three months to home reconstruction!!

I just looked out the window, and it is still there, shiny and bright.

Maybe, if I slip out and drive it to some vacant field and abandon it, I can still save my summer fishing adventures, or perhaps I will just go outside and start denting and scratching it with a hammer.

So please heed my warning here and think twice before you take your beloved fishing boat and turn it into some unrecognizable glamourous showpiece.

I can never live up to it’s expectations.

And if you happen to be in my neighborhood, be sure to throw some mud and a few fish guts on it.

That way, I can get back to sleep……

A.J. Klott

Author, writer of fishing humor, and “fly tack” peddler.A.J. writes about the people,characters and modern day events that surround the fishing world. His first book is due out in December of 2005.
If you need a laugh or a fun gift, visit his website at:
http://www.twoguyswithflys.com

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  • Posted On December 3, 2006
  • Published articles 283513

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