We often consider teenagers stubborn and think they never listen to what we say. We’re trying to communicate with them but they always avoid talking to us. You may have such problems when you have a teenage child. Teenagers are not adults yet, but not small kids any more, therefore, parents should take this into consideration and be more patient and understanding to their prospective adults.
A teenager really wants parents to pay more attention to them though he always tries to hide that. Instead of just hearing your teen, you should give him your full attention and try to listen to him. Teenagers often find it difficult to express their thoughts to parents so they often things which seem to be nonsense. Parents should listen to all those details and bring them into a conversation. You may find something your teen says frustrating and completely incomprehensible but if you make a fuss over it or criticize him, the chasm between you and your teen is just going to get bigger. Be calm and just listen.
Understanding a teen is not easy at all. You should always try to be in his shoes and figure out his concerns. A parent may not realise that a teen has to worry about a lot of things. Besides having to study and think of his future, a teen has to deal with relationships with friends or maybe, has a crush on some girl at school. Teenagers want their parents to know that life is hard for them and they don’t want to be criticized or even asked too much when they get home. However, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t ask your teen anything at all. You can understand your teen more and show him that you care for him by asking some open questions with a smile on your face. Don’t ask a question to which he just needs to answer “yes” or “no”, it just leads the conversation to an abrupt end.
Every teen wants to be financially independent. You can help find a part-time job for him or encourage him to look for it. Your child can gain much living experience through working and can have some pocket money of his own. Of course you should pay attention to how your teen uses his money but don’t ask too many questions or give too many warnings, it’s just counter-productive.
Make your teen’s opinions count. Every teen wants to show that they are mature and wise enough to make decisions. For example, if you are going to make some changes to the interior decoration of your house, ask your teen for his opinions and give them as much consideration as your own. Your teen may have brilliant ideas and if you pay attention to them, he will feel that he is an essential part of the family and that his opinions are respected.
Your Independent guide to Parenting