I would not be married today if it were not for the choice that I made after I found out my husband had been cheating on me. You see, I’m one of those people who take their “marriage” and “wedding vows” very seriously. In the days following my discovery I was an emotional wreck and I couldn’t figure out how in the world I was ever going to be able to move past that depression and I contemplated a divorce.
However; what I chose to do was work on some things within myself (fix what was wrong with me) and at the same time I chose to act in a loving manner towards my husband. Well, wouldn’t you guess it, after making that choice and following that choice up with actions those loving feelings started to return.
Love ebbs and flows just like any other emotion that we have. Each emotion plays an important roll in our lives and the heady “in love” feeling has its place in our dating years as well as in our married years. However; it isn’t going to be there all the time! One day you’re high up on the mountain and the next your way low in the valley.
So, do I degrade love when I say that love is a choice? No I don’t, I actually take it up a notch because I’m saying that love is so important to me and to our marriages that when we don’t “feel” it we must make a choice to continue acting in a loving manner until the loving “feelings” return.
Although my marriage is far from perfect and I certainly have many days where I forget to act in a loving manner I can only be thankful that I didn’t make the decision three years ago to leave my husband. You see if I had of made that decision I wouldn’t have our third beautiful daughter that has been a perfect addition to our family.
I’m not going to say that everything happens for a reason (although it just might); instead I’ll say that you can turn ANY bad thing into a good thing. For me that was becoming a better person and helping other people who are going through marital crises.
Brandi Simon is the owner of Marital Matters where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit Marital Matters.
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