My theory is that there is no such thing as an ugly bride and this has held true for me over the past seven years and several hundred weddings. As a wedding officiant I see brides in all shapes, sizes, ages and ethnic origin. I see women who have irregular facial features, bad teeth, unruly hair, big noses, eyes too close together or too far apart – whatever you want to describe as less than beautiful. I have seen short brides and tall brides, brides who were too fat or too thin or who thought they were too fat or too thin. I have seen pregnant brides, old brides and very young brides. All were beautiful.
Many brides I have met have been very concerned about the way they will look going down the aisle and standing in front of everyone as the center of attention for those twenty to twenty five minutes of the ceremony. Some obsess about their looks. Many go on diets. In fact there are diet programs posted on wedding sites on the internet and in chapters in wedding books for women who want to lose mega pounds before their wedding. It’s like they believe they will be judged by everyone in attendance and pronounced “ugly.” Or if they don’t look like the model on the cover of a bride’s magazine, their groom and his entire family will get up and leave the wedding.
Whoa! Let’s take an honest look at this and try to put it into perspective.
Your groom fell in love with you just the way you are. In his eyes you are already beautiful and he most likely doesn’t want you to change. In fact he’s probably wondering what all the big fuss is about.
So what, if someone in the group of family or guests has a thought about an imperfection or two? Who really cares? It’s their problem if they’re judging you, not your problem. There is a wonderful saying that should be taken to heart, “What other people think of me is none of my business.” Sitting in judgment of you or anyone else is their business and not yours. Your mother may have been telling you to fix your hair a different way, to stand up straight, to lose a few pounds — that’s what mothers do. But she will be the one who thinks you are the most beautiful and will tell everyone she meets, and show pictures to prove it, how beautiful you were for your wedding.
Your wedding is a joyful celebration of the love between you and your groom. It is not a beauty contest.
The truth is that each bride has this wonderful glow that love gives her — a radiance and a dazzling beauty that make-up, hair dos, and dieting cannot provide. Absolutely, do what you want to do to be beautiful on your special day – go to the spa and the hairdresser. Get a manicure and a pedicure. Do all those things that women do to look their best. But know, with great confidence, that you will be beautiful and your man will never forget how you looked as you walked toward him to become his wife.
Irene Conlan has a masters degree in nursing, a doctoral degree in metaphysics, is a certified hypnotherapist and an ordained minister. She practices holistic hypnotherapy and officiates at weddings in Scottsdale, Az and the Phoenix metropolitan area. Irene can be found at: http://www.thepowerzone.com (Hypnotherapy Downloads)
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