After two years of marriage, Michelle found herself to be very unhappy. She was staying home with their new baby girl and another child. It was very different from her fast paced job in the financial world; she wasn’t used to this kind of a life.
Every night, her husband would come home from work and they would have an argument, which was almost always started by Michelle. After several months of this behavior, she decided that she didn’t want to live this way any longer and looked for ways to change within. She knew she was the problem. This was the beginning of years of an intense personal and spiritual journey for her.
What she discovered became the beginning of a life path for her. Through intense training, she figured out how to become aware of what she was thinking, feeling, and sensing at all times. If she wanted to shift into a better space, she would shift gears to figure out how to do that.
Shifting gears is the process of putting yourself into a “neutral space” while you figure out how to move forward. For example, if you are having a bad day at work and you want to start having a better day, one thing you could do is go get a massage during your lunch hour, or, if you don’t have that kind of time, take a coffee break with a friend. Even making someone smile can help you to shift gears, and that only takes seconds.
As Michelle discovered how to change her life through shifting gears, she started teaching others how to do it. Here is how the process works:
1. Become aware of what you are thinking, feeling, and sensing as often as possible. (Leave notes for yourself or choose a sign as a reminder.)
2. When you realize you are in a space (meaning feeling, thinking, or sensing) that you don’t want to be in, consciously shift gears – do something to take your mind off of where you were.
3. When you are ready, start thinking of a solution if you need one (do whatever you need to do to stay out of the original uncomfortable space).
It’s simple and it works. Michelle has literally changed her life because she chose to work on herself and save her marriage. She and her husband are happier today, after 12 years of marriage, than they ever have been.
Anyone can shift gears, and we often do it anyway without realizing it. All it takes is awareness of where you are and what you are doing and the intention to have a happy, stable, and stress-free life.
The next time you find yourself in a frustrating space, shift gears to get out of it. You’ll find peace sooner than you think.
Wendi Moore-Buysse works with business professionals who want to learn how to market to women. She coaches, teaches, and consults with women who want to develop intuition and who want to develop leadership skills. Her books from the Life’s Little Cheat Sheets™ Series, including “Shifting Gears: Get Moving in the Right Direction”, are available through her website and events. “Shifting Gears” includes ways to shift your focus from what you don’t want to what you do want. Visit http://www.wendimoore.com for more information and to read her Life’s Little Cheat Sheets™ blog.
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