To be a single parent was not easy at first. I was worried how my own three children would survive this traumatic episode in their lives. But having been guided to spotlight each of my children’s over emotional needs, I made sure I provided them my full attention as well as all my love. My children have now manufactured me a proud mom since they continue to bring home good grades and excel inside their chosen fields. I realized that for given that a parent gives each child the quality time they rightfully deserve, our children in return will give us even more than we ask advisors.
(Everyone is encouraged to participate the Family Congress on August. 25, Saturday at 8 a. m. at Valle Verde Country Team. It aims to teach lovers, parents, singles and teens to communicate and understand 1 another. It aims to reaffirm the worthiness and relevance of the Filipino Family when confronted with changing times. You may also log to [email protected] or call 4364-143, 579-0100, 0922-8944143, 0917-8972903, 845-1234)
Obet Cabrillas, preacher and spiritual director of Youth Mission for Parishes as well as Churches
Children are in their formative years. Their self-esteem or self-worth has developed. Human beings tend to turn into what significant people believe they will become. We are a product in the people who loved us and refused to love us! If the parents are always giving quality time and so are affirming, the kids understand this conversation as, “You are important to everyone! ” Given on a standard basis, this will make the little one live out this belief that he really is important! The effect: he/she, in turn, generously gives value to people especially his/her peers. In contrast, not giving time to little ones (absentee parenting) will always make their “love tanks” hollow. This message says, “You are not important! “; “You’re not worth my time period! “; “You amount to nothing! ” Hence, they live out lives regarding unclear, vague, little or no self-worth by any means. Henry David Thoreau was correct: “Most men lead lives associated with quiet desperation. ” Criminality, violence, substance-abuse, sexual promiscuity, etc. are but the tip on the iceberg. At the bottom and root of it all the above is low self-esteem an item of absentee parenting. Carol Metzier and team in the united states made a study of 700 adolescents in single-parented homes the ones not given parental quality period have high probabilities of: sexual activity, substance abuse, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy and criminality. There are two gifts that individuals give our children: roots and wings. Quality time of affection, attention and affirmation will build the roots that will bloom into a sturdy shrub someday. Whereas their wings are manufactured by the challenges we post upon them so they really might accomplish their dreams. Bottom line: children don’t spell love as L. O. V. E. They spell love as To. I. M. E. Be blessed immensely!
Quality time and quantity time are equally important. If parents hug and play because of their kids, but only for, say, 10 to 15 minutes a day, a solid relationship will be difficult to sustain. Ditto if parents spend all day with their kids, but do nothing but nag or even spoil them, leaving major responsibilities to teachers or yayas. Use common sense – punch a balance between quality and quantity time.