One thing you need to be aware of, once you begin your role as a step father or step mother, is that you need to go slowly when you first begin. Many times these children have lost a parent through an accident or a separation of their parents. It really doesnt matter how the separation or loss occurred; all that matters is that you are aware of this and adapt accordingly.
If you have never raised any children on your own before, raising step kids is going to be quite a chore. Sometimes people who never even planned to have children end up marrying someone who already has kids, and suddenly their lives are very different!
If you find yourself in this situation, youll have to get used to your new role as a parent, just as the children will have to adjust to you. In the beginning, dont try to rush things and just support your partner as much as possible when it comes to parenting duties. Becoming a parent to step children isnt easy, but as you and the children get used to each other you can eventually develop a solid relationship.
Make sure you take an interest in the lives of your step children. As a new parent, this wont always be easy, but its essential if youre ever to play a significant role in their lives. The initial questions should be harmless such as inquiring about their favorite colors or what type of ice cream is their favorite dessert. By getting to know the step children and little more each day, youll seem like a real person that they might want to interact with.
Though you may not find this a very hard initial task, it can be for some people. By showing them that you are interested in their lives, it might open them up to more dialogue and further interactions. Children really appreciate it when you show some genuine interest in what they are doing, which may not be reflected by their initial reactions.
You will have to be very tactful when any discussion about their biological parent comes up. This is even the case if the original parent has died. He or she will still have a place in your stepchilds heart. Matters can really become complicated if your new spouse has been through a divorce and he or she has inconsistent feelings towards the former spouse. Its not your place to state an opinion about a natural parent who mistreated the kids. You should stay neutral on the subject or even be a little positive if you must say something. Whatever part the biological parent played in the lives of your stepchildren, you have to respect the kids right to keep their own version of their memories. Building a relationship with the step children is your first step in moving toward learning your new role as their parent. Use the tips and strategies that we have provided to help you out in your new role, implementing them with your new role in the family. Being accepted by the step children in this new family environment will come with time, especially if you do your best to be a great role model and are very patient.